By Mary Nappier
It was getting near Christmas and I had delayed
putting up a Christmas tree, because this had been the first Christmas without
our son. He had passed on to be with the Lord a few months before due to
leukemia. During his illness, we would talk and he always told me he did not
want me to be sad when he passed away, and I promised him that I would try
really hard not to be sad.
I was doing ok with my loss until Christmas came
near, and then I fell apart because he had always enjoyed the holidays so much.
He had a way of making Christmas so special to so many people and fun too. So
when that first Christmas came around without him, I had decided not to put up
a tree at all, but the closer it got to Christmas, I just felt something inside
me telling to put one up. So my husband and I went and bought a tree.
When we began to decorate it, I just fell apart
because I felt so sad that our son was not there with me. I tried not to cry,
but I did anyway as I was getting the decorations out the box I had them stored
in. I put them on the tree one by one, and then I came to a very special
ornament that my son gave me the year before, a glass icicle with a gold string
on it. He had it all wrapped in a pretty box when he gave it to me and said to
me these words which I will never forget, "Mom, I wished I could have
gotten you something more, but I just don't have the money this year to buy
much."
I gave him a kiss on the forehead and said, “That’s
ok, son. I understand.” I opened the gift and there was the most beautiful
glass tree ornament I have ever seen, not an expensive one, but one given with
love. He and I hung it on the tree that year, and that was our last Christmas
together.
Well, when I came across that tree ornament, tears
fell from my eyes as I remembered my son. I hung the ornament on the tree as
tears fell from my eyes, and for a brief moment I felt his hand on mine as I
hung it on the tree and felt his present there with me, and then I began
smelling the sweetest scent I have ever smelled. I cannot even describe what it
smelled like but it was a sweet, beautiful smell. I know in my heart that my
son had visited me and helped me hang the tree ornament he had given me.
I know now, too, that he is
always with me and the love goes on forever. That small, cheap gift he gave to
me was the most precious gift in the world to me; it means more to me than all
the expensive gifts in this world. It was a gift given with love and nothing in
this world can ever top that. So every year since, I have made it a special
moment when I hang the ornament on our tree because I know he is there to with
me helping me to hang it in just the right place on the tree.
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