A Pocketful of Memories

by Brenda Taylor Peterson

Rhonda loved to tell her four year old daughter, Katie, stories about the time when she was a little girl. Only in that way could she make grandpas and grandmas and cousins who lived far away come alive for her daughter.

Rhonda spent hours transforming her own memories of Christmas spent at Grandpa and Grandma Eppich’s - of sleigh rides and making snowmen and ice skating on the town pond - into mental pictures for her daughter. Katie probably knew her relatives better than many of the people who lived in the same farming town with them.

So, for Katie’s sake, Rhonda was especially pleased that they were having their first family reunion back east during the holiday this year. They would all be together at least one more time with Grandpa Bill.

Grandpa Bill was actually Katie’s great-grandpa. He was the reason grandpa had a special sparkle for Rhonda. As a child, she loved him so much. On Sunday afternoons when everyone else went to take a nap, he always had time to read her the funny papers, and he had more stories about skipping school and putting tacks on teachers’ chairs than anybody else’s grandpa. But she had especially liked a secret game the two of them had played.

Whenever Grandpa came for a visit, she would run to him and, before giving him a kiss, would shove her hands into his pockets, searching for the candy she knew was hidden in one of them. He’d always look shocked and deny that he had brought any candy. He’d apologize and say he was sorry that he had forgotten this time. But she persisted until she found it, because Grandpa Bill never forgot the candy.

But Grandpa Bill was 85 now, and, according to the nurses at the home where he lived, a lingering illness had left him unable to remember most things. Senile was the catch all word someone mentioned, and that’s what Rhonda’s mom warned her of when they were planning their reunion.

Rhonda’s parents had been to Seattle several times since Katie’s birth, but this was Katie’s first trip east, and the excitement of a plane flight to her great-grandma’s house was almost more than she could stand. And when they arrived, there was so much fun to explore at Grandpa and Grandma Eppich’s farm that Katie never stopped running from morning till night.

On Christmas Eve, Rhonda sat with her daughter on the big, lumpy bed that had been hers years ago and told Katie that Grandpa Bill would be coming to dinner the next day.

Katie’s eyes grew wide. “You mean Grandpa Bill who worked in the silver mines and who lived with the Indians?”

“Yes,” Rhonda said, realizing her stories had made Grandpa Bill a bigger than life size hero for Katie. Then she tried to explain. “Grandpa is very old now and has been sick for a long time. He has forgotten almost everything that ever happened to him. He won’t remember the Indians or the silver mines. He probably won’t even remember me.”

The change they would see in Grandpa Bill would be much easier for Katie to accept than for Rhonda. Katie was asleep seconds after Rhonda tucked the familiar old quilt around her, but Rhonda lay awake for a long time, regretting that Katie could never know the wonderful man Grandpa Bill had been.

Early next morning, the aunts and uncles began to arrive. Rhonda introduced Katie to each one and explained their part in the stories she had told her daughter. By 11:30, everyone was accounted for except Tim and his family, who were bringing Grandpa Bill. Then someone yelled, “Uncle Tim and Aunt Stacey are here!” and everyone crowded around the front door to welcome them.

Tim’s family piled out of their van, and then Tim carefully helped Grandpa Bill out. Rhonda was shocked at how old and frail he looked as he slowly followed Tim’s family up the sidewalk.

Tim and Grandpa Bill came through the door just as everyone was hugging Stacey and the children. Grandpa Bill stopped just inside the door and looked blankly around, bewildered by the noise and the sight of so many people. He stood silent, stiff, unsure of what was expected of him.

“Merry Christmas, Dad. We’re so glad you could come,” Rhonda’s mother said as she kissed him on the cheek and took his hat.

Rhonda’s heart went out to him as he stood there confused and frightened, being greeted by people he didn’t recognize, She saw tears well up in his eyes, and all of a sudden she regretted the family reunion she had looked forward to so much.

She longed to go to him and put her arms around him and say, “It’s ok, Grandpa, We’re your family. We love you.” But she just stood still, now wanting to add to his confusion.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Katie slip through the crowd of cousins and aunts and uncles and shyly sidle up to Grandpa Bill. With a knowing look, Katie reached up and put her hand in his sweater pocket. Through the fabric, Rhonda could see her fingers searching the corners. Undaunted at finding nothing there, Katie went around to his other side and tried another pocket.

Rhonda’s heart was twisted again as she realized what Katie was doing, but there would be no candy in Grandpa Bill’s pockets for her to find. Rhonda longed to pull her daughter away from disappointment and spare Grandpa Bill the humiliation of having this unknown child rifle through his pockets. But she stood frozen, unable to halt Katie’s candy hunt.

Apprehensively, Rhonda looked at Grandpa Bill’s face again. Tears were streaming down his wrinkled cheeks, but the confusion and pain were gone, and he was smiling. In fact, he was almost laughing. As Katie stopped the search of pockets within her reach, he slowly bent over and shakily pointed to the breast pocket on his flannel shirt. Katie’s hand quickly disappeared inside and triumphantly came out with a small package of breath mints, the only candy the rest home allowed him. She turned and said, “See, Mom, I knew he wouldn’t forget.”

Then Katie took Grandpa Bill by the hand, led him to the sofa, and pulled him down to sit beside her. “Would you like me to tell you a story about when you were little, Grandpa Bill?” she began.